I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude i'm inner monologue high
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
