Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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