wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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