We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The best revenge is premature balding
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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