I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
