fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
