Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
