I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
