How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
