Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
