we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
