pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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