My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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