He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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