The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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