She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
