his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
