So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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