I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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