On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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