when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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