What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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