Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
