Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
