Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
