Kiss
Puke
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
