You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Randomize
