WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
