lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
