There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she woke up with a sticky ear
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
