i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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