If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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