If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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