Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
