i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
