Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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