She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
