Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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