At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
