Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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