her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i will never coherently bang her
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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