i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
