they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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