We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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