The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
