But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
