Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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