Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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