you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
