even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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