Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
