the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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