What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
ok first of all what the fuck
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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